Life or Death
by islashlove
Summary: Castiel has to make a decision about his life and up coming death.


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is from Supernatural. **

**Beta: Yes, I would like to say thank you to my Beta jerseybelle for all her hard work.**

**Warning: None**

**Author's Notes: ****This story is the response to a one word challenge from the Facebook group Fanfiction .net Writer's Unite. The word this week is Angel****.**

**Story Notes: Castiel has to make a decision about his life and up coming death.**

**Life or Death**

**Chapter 1: That is the Question**

Castiel sat quietly in heaven. He sat on a bench in the garden that he liked which belonged to the autistic man. It was quiet and the air was full of calm and peace. Whenever he needed to think, he came here and right now, he needed to think and think hard.

The angels were back in heaven and looking to him to lead them again. He didn't want to be a leader. He just wanted to be a normal angel. Something he has never been.

His whole existences had never been normal. To start with, he was an Angel of the Lord. A solider, ready to do whatever his commanding officer told him to do. To obey his father's every word and he did.

Then…then he was given the job to watch over a new world. He didn't understand these new creatures, but he knew his father loved them. So he watched as they grew from a thing that crawled out of the murky waters to the creature called man.

From what he could see of man was that man was full of flaws. He was imperfect, very violent and seemed to be bent on self-destruction. But these views changed after he was ordered, by who he thought was god, to save one, Dean Winchester.

It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be for him to walk into hell and pull this seemly useless man from the pit of hell. But what was hard was to hear, to see, that this man didn't think he deserved to be saved. That, that his life wasn't important.

But over the years, the Winchester boys, Dean and Sam, had taught him that there was more to being human than just surviving and in turn, there was more to being an angel.

No more was he loyal to his father, who had left a long time ago. He was still loyal to his fellow angels, but he wished that they didn't put so much faith in him.

From the moment he had met the Winchester brothers, he began to fail in his tasks and he learnt that angels too, had flaws. Some were too loyal to God. Others were too loyal to heaven and as the news that God had left them, and with the stopping of the apocalypse, the angels became more and more lost and looked for a new leader, but why was it that they always looked to him.

He had tried to do his best for them, for all humanity, for Dean and Sam, but as always he did the wrong thing. Even when he was human, he did it wrong and now, now he was dying and he needed to make a choice.

His first choice was to continue with the way things were going and have the stolen grace to burn out and take him with it. His second choice was to take up the offer by his brothers and sisters and accept the grace they were offering so he could go on. Or the third one, give up the grace before it burns out and become a human once again. The third one seemed to be the most viable one.

But how can he tell all the angels in heaven and on Earth that he has chosen to live as a human rather than die as an angel.

Looking over at the man whose heaven this is, Castiel smiles at how simple his heaven is. A garden that is forever in spring. It is neat and tidy and he tends to the flowers with loving hands. Turning back, Castiel closes his eyes and then prays.

"Father, I know that you most likely can't hear this, but I need help. I don't know which way to go. Should I stay an angel and see this out to the end? But then the others will expect me to lead them and I...I'm not a leader. I've never been a leader, but the other choice is to abandon my brothers and sisters and everything that makes me, me and become human.

Please Father, tell me what I should do. Which one should I choose? Should I choose death or life? I supposed that what this really comes down to is whether or not I want to live. Whether or not I could be more help as an angel in heaven or a human in Earth."

Castiel sat up straight. His eyes moved back and forth as he went over his own words. Finally, his eyes steady and a smile forms as he makes up his mind.

"Thank you, father. I now know what to do."

With that, Castiel stood up, walked over to the owner of this heaven, shook his hand and left, so he could fill everyone in about his decision.

**The End**

**Thank you for reading and for reviewing my story.**


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